then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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