i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize