Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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