It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
