apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
