Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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