i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
