this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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