grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
