We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
