I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
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As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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