It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
