if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
