Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
