What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
