i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm both gender and math confused
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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