So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
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