She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
