Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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