then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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