I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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