Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
