real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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