The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
