i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
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