This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
