Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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