i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
