He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
