why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Randomize
