at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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