My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
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I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
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i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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