If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
