i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
