when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
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one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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