So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I currently don't understand fingers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
