Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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