I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The air was thick with penises
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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