I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
