We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
