Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
be right there i have to get my cape
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
