so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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