We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
