Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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