I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I smell stomach acid.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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