I'm really into asian looking animals
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
