I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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