She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
okay pat passed out under dana's car
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
