dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
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