You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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