OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
