Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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