Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
