i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Shame - the story of my life.
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