He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
My ass is underappreciated
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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